"Immediately providing advice" is a mistake I made more than once when I was doing my Master's in Professional Counseling. I was so concerned with providing The Answer that I would fail to see what was actually going on. Instead of seeing/hearing what could be either venting or asking for advice (or something else entirely) and then maybe asking a question (or two or more) to get a better lay of the land I would immediately launch into attempting to fix The Problem. The prof and/or practicum advisor would let me make the mistake and then - wham! - came the critique.
I've learned from that; that there is a question (or two or three) to be asked before one goes down either Path A or Path B. In fact, there may also be a C and a D and even a E. Being a "fixer" by nature I've learned to listen and wait. Not always successful, but I am mindful of this tendency.
thank you for your comment; me too, had to learn this the hard way… it is easier to see when you are on the receiving end. It is good that you were able to learn and are aware of this.
Mein Wort, I'm glad I didn't comment! Actually, as a male i'm not remotely qualified to do so. When you're not well it colours everything but I think someone as fabulous as you will ride it out and come up smiling on the other side. btw, What part of Germany are you from? I'm a raised by English people fellow and have lived in Canada for many years so similar experience to you in that regard.
Did you note that the 'ordinary' people have spoken up in the local elections over there, finally, so some good news. The 'blob' as they call their Deep State along with the Socialists have been working to get UK back into the EU. I'd be depressed if they managed to do that!
Just do what feels best and right for you and ignore what the others say.
Easier said than done
Not sure what you’re talking about with the claim that men give better advice usually without judgement. That’s not my experience.
Just my own personal observation. It appears you experienced something different?
"Immediately providing advice" is a mistake I made more than once when I was doing my Master's in Professional Counseling. I was so concerned with providing The Answer that I would fail to see what was actually going on. Instead of seeing/hearing what could be either venting or asking for advice (or something else entirely) and then maybe asking a question (or two or more) to get a better lay of the land I would immediately launch into attempting to fix The Problem. The prof and/or practicum advisor would let me make the mistake and then - wham! - came the critique.
I've learned from that; that there is a question (or two or three) to be asked before one goes down either Path A or Path B. In fact, there may also be a C and a D and even a E. Being a "fixer" by nature I've learned to listen and wait. Not always successful, but I am mindful of this tendency.
All the best.
Cheers!
thank you for your comment; me too, had to learn this the hard way… it is easier to see when you are on the receiving end. It is good that you were able to learn and are aware of this.
Mein Wort, I'm glad I didn't comment! Actually, as a male i'm not remotely qualified to do so. When you're not well it colours everything but I think someone as fabulous as you will ride it out and come up smiling on the other side. btw, What part of Germany are you from? I'm a raised by English people fellow and have lived in Canada for many years so similar experience to you in that regard.
Did you note that the 'ordinary' people have spoken up in the local elections over there, finally, so some good news. The 'blob' as they call their Deep State along with the Socialists have been working to get UK back into the EU. I'd be depressed if they managed to do that!