Gravity is fierce today

The erosion of a neighborhood can come overnight

You all know these days, you pour yourself a nice cup of coffee. Walk to the table or your desk and then… the cup slips out of your hand for no reason. And instead of enjoying a morning coffee, you are cleaning an annoying coffee spill.

Yes, gravity is fierce today. Much stronger than usual.

I stand by this statement.

I am entering this Saturday after a strange Friday. My boss was walked out of the building. Typically, everyone is working from home on Fridays. This last Friday was different. I had one meeting with her to go through some important to her stuff, so I drove in late… just to find this meeting cancelled. Instead I walked to the bathroom and … ran into her and the HR person being walked out.

I knew exactly that moment what was happening.

I had seen the signs. Her not fitting into the general tone and dynamics of meetings. Her being always the odd one out. Her being in a very constant rushed panic and frazzled in her assignments and execution of tasks.

I knew the month before that her days are counted.
She was not my direct boss, she was my matrix boss; aka my second boss. I was in a dual reporting role. One role, two bosses.

I was relieved when she was walked out. I hired into this role under different circumstances. A normal job with a clear reporting line. That changed the day before I started. I got a call from the HR lead. She said my direct boss would change; nothing else.

As soon as I started it became difficult. Constantly being in a tug of war. I was the rope. Both bosses having fundamentally different ways of leading and working with different priorities. You cannot win in a situation like that.

So, I am hoping for more stability now.

February in total has been weird.

I live in a higher middle class neighborhood that feels more like secluded village, not a suburb. Everyone knows everybody. We have parties together. People do wine walks at night. You get a wine and walk around the neighborhood; apparently, I have not participated. People know their dogs. Kids are playing outside and it is commonly accepted that kids occasionally run across lawns or backyards when they play. Everyone is respectful. Kids ask for permission, say hi and good morning.

Our backyards are part of a ravine with a creek running through it. Trees everywhere. the wildlife is interesting and varied. Most people leave the woods as woods to enjoy the animals living there. Hardly anyone cleans up fallen trees or maintains the ravine. It is raw land. Kids play in these woods and you can see them enjoying some good old free range fun. It is kind of nice to live here.

About two years ago, the oldest couple, original owners of their house, moved and then passed away a month later. The neighborhood was built in 1964 and thus these neighbors were not just old, they left the house pretty much intact from the previous century. We went there during the Estate Sale. It felt like a walk back in time. Original floors, walls, kitchen, and bathrooms. A treasure for anyone loving historic buildings.

The house got sold.

To flippers.

Another neighbor who went to Highschool with them described them the following: “They are hustlers. Always out for a win. They lie even when it is not necessary.”

And that is exactly what we got.

Nearly for two years, they renovated the house. And this February someone moved in. There was no “For Sale” sign. Nothing on Zillow. People just moved in. At first things looked normal. Then more people moved in. And more people. All kids.

They planted a foster care home into our neighborhood.

I did my best PI work and … even found the rental listing. The house is rented for nearly $6k. A video of the insight showed everything in grey and white. No more charm. Just a degutted modernized home. Cookie cutter and boring. This group home is likely government sponsored.

A foster home with at least 4 adults being there at all times. Constant traffic in and out. The kids are between the ages of 8 and 15. The majority being pre-teen.

Yesterday was the first nice day of the year. Their kids all went outside. Which is fine; in general, but this felt different: Within seconds they roamed simultaneously 6 backyards, used everyone’s playground equipment without even checking in. Two boys were hitting trees wildly with their ice hockey sticks. It was loud. And obnoxious.

I called them off the tree house in my backyard. It is a tree house built that requires some skill to climb onto and it cannot or better should not hold more than 2 to 3 kids at once. I did not want anyone to get hurt. I asked them to send their parents to talk to me before going back on. Yes, I know there are likely no parents involved. But I am not getting sued when someone gets hurt and I do not trust these group homes to handle things well if they do. When they do.

I am not sure how to exactly feel about this foster group home a couple of houses down from my house. I do not know the kid turnover and I do not know how they will fit into this neighborhood. I can only tell you, I am worried. I am angry at the flippers for infiltrating the neighborhood like this. It is not meant to be for businesses like this and yet, because it is kids in foster care, zoning laws do not apply and it is legal for them to exist like this in residential areas.

It makes me responsible though that nobody is being hurt in the woods behind my house. I am indeed legally liable for any kid trespassing onto my property. This means, I will have to probably tear down the tree house to avoid the “attractive nuisance” implication. the same is probably true about the pile of wood I have stacked down near the creek.

I am pissed off to no end.

And I am not sure I am a bad person or not thinking this way. Am I overreacting? I am just relieved that my kids are already in college. I feel even more bad for the people directly next to the new group home, because the neighbors on both sides have elementary school aged kids. As I said, I do not believe all foster kids are bad, but based on experience there are more risks as these kids tend to come from broken homes and abusive or negligent circumstances. I am not a bad person for knowing these things. And with the higher turnover of kids, you never really know who lives there.

These are not the first foster kids in the neighborhood. We had a family care for two kids a while ago. These kids integrated well and lived with a stable family. This was a perfect scenario for these kids.

This is different. We are talking about a larger group home with care personnel, not parents.

Do you have any thoughts?

Should I disassemble the tree house?