Kill Your Idols

The real dangers of false gods!

This will be a an ode to everyone who sees themselves changing. It is meant as an encouragement that change is a true constant and if you notice this in yourself it is a good thing. It means you are open to learn, you take input from external factors and you use them to rebuild your way of thinking.

And here is some advice I learned way too late in life: Never trust anyone who never changes their opinion. Never trust anyone who does not try new things. Never trust someone who does not have a moral compass.

When I was 18 I thought I had everything figured out. I was a left hippie leaning girl with round glasses and a 70s leather jacket and I knew everything that there is. I believed that everyone was just an idiot. Ah, the narcissism of being a teenager.

If you ever really want to understand in what leftist circles I grew up you need to know only two things. I spent most of my weekends at an alternative punk club called Contra (yes, I know, very creative). And the music that was played there was for example this here: Kill Your Idols. Note: All photos from the nostalgic Contra homepage that still exists.

Those were wonderful and naive times. And I often wish I had stayed this idealistic and naive. I really do. Things were so much easier then.

But other than those folks that still in deep sad nostalgia hold on to a punk club that existed 30 and more years ago, still doing revival parties, I changed quickly. Going to engineering school, working a manufacturing job when everyone from my Highschool still went to college, all of that gave me a different perspective. I did not have the luxury as it was so common in Germany in the 80s and 90s to extent college for years into my late 20s and early 30s. I had to work. I needed money. Nobody was paying for me. I needed a real job.

So I got one.

My 5 year Highschool reunion was fun. I was the only one with a finished college degree and a job. I had been to South Africa to finish my degree. And I thought I had won in the world. That was not the case either, but even 5 years after college I was just only minimally less naive. I had some curveballs and career switches in front of me. And … I caught up on college some more by getting an MBA 10 years after Highschool. So, yes, my timeline is less linear than I ever could have imagined at age 18. And that is good.

Because what fun would life be when there is only one direction to pursue?

My favorite book when I was 18?

“Es gibt nur zwei Richtungen, Mister” which translates to “There are only two directions, Mister”. A book about a guy who decides to travel the US and meets a teenage boy traveling together discovering the USA. It was kind of prophetic for me, wasn’t it. The book is about escaping the past and building a future insinuating that there are indeed only two directions from any given point in your life. You either do it or not.

I always chose to do it.

My biggest risks were: I moved to South Africa by myself to finish my engineering degree at the University of Cape Town. And then I took a job as the first female engineer in a manufacturing company, and then I met my first husband, quit my job and moved to the US getting an MBA. I got pregnant by accident, but then decided that being a mom is part of the plan. I build a career in automotive. Had to tear my life up again after 15 years of marriage thanks to a cheating friend and a cheating husband. Yes, double betrayals are extra fun to deal with. My mom got ALS and died. I met my new husband. Changed my job when the environment got toxic. And am now where I am now. In my early 50s. And not yet done. Not yet settled.

I wish my life was as wonderful as it was when my week’s highlight was to meet my friends at the Contra.

The years with disaster changed me. I learned that you can never trust anyone. Just like many people have just learned themselves. I was not surprised by discovering that Fauci was lying. I knew this. It was obvious. A guy who openly disclaims: “ I am the science”, is at best a narcissistic asshole and at worst a self declared god who will kill for fun.

If being in an abusive relationship teaches you anything, if being betrayed by your friend and your husband at the same time teaches you anything, it is that people lie to your face if they can and if it benefits them.

The one thing is true: the majority of people will not hesitate to throw you under the bus if it means they benefit from it somehow. The other true thing is that you cannot alter your health just by pure will.

My mom was living healthy all her life. Restricting the amount of sugar she ate, eating vegetables, only whole grains, lean meat, and so on. She worked out, ran, lifted weights. She did all her preventive health care appointments. And then died at age 69 thanks to a nasty illness called ALS that robbed her of every body function there is until she could no longer breathe. It only took a year for her to go from running a 10k to being incapable of moving and speaking.

There are hypotheses out there that state that childhood abuse (yes, the emotional kind) causes so much stress in the body that these types of illness can occur with a higher likelihood. Christina Applegate also wrote about this in her memoire and claims that her abusive experiences as a child may have been a contributor to her MS. I believe that fully. Many people I know who grew up in Cluster B households have chronic illnesses from autoimmune to heart conditions to hearing losses to sensory issues. It tracks.

It is surprisingly hard for people to change what they have committed to their brain as ultimate unchangeable truth. Dogmas. Idols. It was initially surprising to me how so many people held onto their belief in god despite the big atheist movement and so many people telling them they are idiots for believing a god exists when you cannot see him.

I am no longer surprised. I actually do believe fully that for us as a human society a belief like Christianity is important. It creates a purpose and a moral compass that is not easy to come by without the religious framework. In essence, Christianity makes you somewhat immune to clinging to false gods. You also learn that imperfection is not unusual and that you cannot predict an outcome. All you know is that if you live a good life, god will take care of you in the afterlife. I am simplifying drastically. So, my Christian readers, please stay with me. You can comment below.

Without that framework? People start following a moral compass that points in other directions, but not North. They believe in climate change with such rigor that they would hurt anyone and anything just to satisfy a perceived urgency that they cannot even explain. The same is true for any other cause they set their compass to point to. Their entire existence eventually orbits around that cause to a point where other things become irrelevant. They have chosen a new god. Just like the golden cow. And since this new belief system is built on a fragile foundation that has only limited support it needs to be defended aggressively so the foundation can not cave in.

Any questioning is perceived as an ultimate hit to their core being that the only defense left for them is to call you names, evil, and in more extreme cases physically hurt you.

The desire to have a fail proof system and the inability to deal with uncertainty is hurting the mental state of many people. People that never learned to take and accept risk will. not be able to deal with situations that are less than ideal. And if something is less than ideal, in today’s day and age, with all our technology and promise of control, they need someone to blame, because if there is no control, someone must have actively taken that option away, right? They cannot pray and let “god, take the wheel” (yes, I do not like the Carrie Underwood song, but I understand the meaning).

The same way my mother thought she can beat early aging and death by living the most healthy life, the same way I thought that there is only one right or wrong, and clearly I was always right in my youth, the same way people these days feel they can direct and control the world around them. They have promoted themselves to god-like figures that just need to micromanage any aspect of their lives and then… happiness.

That is not how happiness works.

Happiness is not a permanent state.

Happiness is not the normal state of any human being.

The normal state is actually the struggle itself. There used to be a famous Hallmark card stating: The path is the destination. Basically showing a path in the forest explaining that it is not the destination that matters as much as walking down the path. That is exactly what life is. Sometimes bad things happen. Sometimes you get hurt. Sometimes you experience something nice. It all depends.

With that, all the things we dread and would rather not do, often matter the most. Forcing yourself to work when you’d rather sleep in, working out, when you would rather read a book, or cleaning your house just because the dust bunnies are becoming too obnoxious dancing around, you do something that puts you on that path. The path of life. With all ups and downs. Curves and crossroads.

And any true accomplishment in life is a small victory that gets you closer to your destination. Even if if is just the knowledge that you lived the best life you could, raised a good family, and mastered the art of playing the guitar. Whatever it is. You mastered it. You did it. Be proud.

Don’t trust people who act like they have it all figured out. Look at people who still hold onto a life they lived 30 years ago as if it was all that ever mattered. The more we learn, the more we understand that we know way too little and that there is so much more to know in life.

Yes, I think a moral compass is important, but don’t fall for the new idols. Idols that without hesitation segregate everyone into a good person and bad person based on physical attributes. Look at behavior instead. Are they genuinely smiling? Are words matching their actions? Have they lied? Do they change their minds when presented with facts and data they did not know before? Do they listen? Do they tell you who they are?

Let’s all embrace the unknown.

But let’s be wise about it.