Witholding

The worst kind of narcissistic punishments I can list

I remember vividly. I was sitting in my walk in closet, closed doors. Wondering what I would do if my husband would not come back from his business trip. I imagined a plane crash. Some car accident.

I knew exactly what I would do. I would get three cats. I would otherwise just live on. Organize a funeral. Invite his family.

Of course my husband went on the business trip with no such accident. He just left. And I had the house to myself. With the kids. It was quiet and peaceful.

Those were the relaxing days.

Then he came back and chaos resumed. Like always.

This week on Disaffected “Narcatypes” Josh Slocum explained in his opening monologue how leftists prefer anyone from a foreign country or an illegal more than their own neighbor or anyone close to them. I was immediately transported to being with my now ex. The husband I secretly wished was somehow stranded on a deserted island on his way home from a business trip.

Yes, I thought I was a bad person for thinking that. Who has her life laid out in case her husband dies? I did. It could only mean one thing: That I was a bad person.

What I did not know is that I had been groomed by my ex-husband to feel that way.

Most people that escape from narcissistic relationships explain how charming their husband was until the mask fell off. So many women describe their husband as circling through various stages in their relationship, but love bombing always being one of them. The famous narcissistic cycle. They explained the wonderful, mind blowing sex they would have with their Cluster B husband.

None of this was true for me.

The lovebombing existed. Exactly three months.

Then it was over.

The initial three months of me dating my ex were incredible. He told me how much he loved me, how wonderful I was, he wanted to hold hands, and did not shy away from PDA.

For exactly three months.

Then… I became too much. He claimed he could not breathe. And just like that I was put on a deficit. Love starved as I was since my parents never really showed affection or told me that they loved me or did anything real special for my birthdays or any days, I needed to get those three months back. I was like an addict with only one focus: to be loved like that again.

I thought I just needed to try harder. He was so charming to everyone around. The waitress? She got smiles and flirts. Even with me being there. Our female colleague at work: the same. Our elderly neighbor giggled like a teenage girl when she saw my then husband. Everyone was treated like they were special. He helped neighbors with a smile, I had to beg for anything around the house to be done that he did not feel was a priority. The yard was always a priority. Inside? Not so much.

I was not enough for him. Not a good person. Not worth of his attention.

Even if I got a present, I was told I did not appreciate it enough. The flowers? I did not look at them long enough. Valentine’s day? I once had told him I did not care about the date, so he made sure to ONLY call his mom to wish her a happy valentine’s day. Always in front of me.

He said, I am not showing him enough affection. I am not running to the door to greet him when he gets home.

This type of emotional abandonment was the worst for me and I am sure many other women who are dealing with someone who withholds love would feel the same. It is not the standard narcissistic abuse behavior. It is not the cycle that most theoretical literature describe; it is something more sinister. It is a complete manipulation of a person, a finalized moment of maximum control.

He did not need to do any love bombing anymore; I was completely devalued. Of such low importance that he did not need to put in any effort. I was a mother. Living thousands of miles away from her family and friends. In a country not her own. He no longer needed to pretend. There was no mask needed.

I saw him being so great with everyone else. Therefore, the only explanation I had was that indeed I was the bad person. I fully believed his rejection of me was my fault. I did not deserve his attention or affection. I was not good enough.

And that state of feeling less than was my normal. I did no longer have needs, because if I voiced them, I was treated as if I was unreasonable. Unreasonable, because there were always others who needed things more, who deserved more.

This manipulation is what the current woke tribe is aiming for on all of our daily lives. Controlling their own neighbors or family to accept less not because they truly feel they deserve less, but because they love the power and control that comes with this kind of manipulation. It is sadistic.

The love to stomp on people that are already suffering. “You got robbed? Boohoo people in other countries have nothing.” “You want your own holiday traditions? Boohoo, you need to make room for others with less. Your culture is trash anyways.”

Extreme leftism and wokeism allows the narcissists in spe to feel a glimpse of superiority and the power to control others. This is how this movement feeds itself. Until habit morphs everyone into a full blown Cluster B with no connection to reality left. Permanently frozen in their superiority syndrome.

The behavior is always the same. Regardless of whether it is single garden variety narcissist in a marriage or a large scale operation like the political left is running.

You always recognize the patterns.