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Adrienne's avatar

It’s definitely a cultural thing that predates the war. A lot of German-Americans grew up with similar issues, though the severity of course varies quite a lot.

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Between Chairs's avatar

Thanks for validating what I suspected. Yes, most Germans migrated to the States have confirmed similar experiences.

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Jan 31, 2024
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Between Chairs's avatar

Every person of German decent seems to say the same thing…

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Just plain Rivka's avatar

https://www.amazon.com/Bonhoeffer-Pastor-Martyr-Prophet-Spy/dp/1595552464?nodl=1&dplnkId=df0147d4-0da7-4225-a42d-d93cacfc7562

I read this book on Bonhoeffer. One part that stood out to me was how Bonhoeffer’s mother kept her children out of German schools until they were seven because she felt that the schooling was too harsh. She also felt that the German military had a strong effect on Germans that was less than positive. Culture is such a powerful thing.

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Between Chairs's avatar

Yes. It is. I have to look into this book.

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Eva's avatar

Very interesting! I first heard about this parenting book a few months ago and was intrigued. Some of the scenarios you describe fit exactly with how

my father’s family operates and what I experienced growing up.

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Between Chairs's avatar

A lot of Germans seem to recognize the behavior, so I know this is somewhat true. I have seen the book on my grandmother’s shelf.

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Eva's avatar

It’s interesting how ideas get passed around. Definitely no book in my family’s case, but I suspect the author was not writing in a vacuum.

Does the book reflect general cultural norms of the time it was written? Did she just write down what everyone for generations had already been practicing? I am interested in how long this has been going on for.

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Between Chairs's avatar

Yes. I do believe this was a very Prussian way of thinking and existed generations before 1930s. I am just fascinated, because this behavior seems to be unique to Germany and some Polish areas. Just look at the Struwelpeter.

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Eva's avatar

That’s interesting about Prussia/Poland. I don’t know anyone from a Russian or Polish background, but would love to find out about it.

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Karen Lynch's avatar

I wonder if it is still that way? Do current young parents raise their children in such a cold manner? My grandmother was German and my anecdotal evidence coincides with this essay’s message. She was cold, unfeeling, and I empathetic.

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Between Chairs's avatar

I think it is way less now, but I think we are seeing the aftermath and younger generations are either overcompensating or using climate change or refugees as a means to explain to children that they don’t need much, but others do.

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